Coconuts and Coconut Bacon

Coconuts are so cheap at Jon's, I said. Get one; it'll be fun, I said.

This was not worth it! I broke a knife, then moved on to a hammer. I'm sure my neighbors thought I was really trying to be a noise artist. Because it was a mature coconut (ha), it was harder to open than a young one. Even when I did, the coconut water was a little funky and it didn't have that much meat.

I dreamed of coconut jerky and raw coconut ice cream (though I think you might need young coconut for the latter) before settling on coconut bacon. Inspired by this recipe at fettle vegan, I just winged it and it was quite good--more like bacon bits than bacon strips.

Coconut Bacon Bits

Ingredients
1/2 c 'beef' stock
some tamari
some liquid smoke
1 TB sugar
some smoked paprika
some gochujang
some garlic powder
diced raw coconut from one mature coconut

Instructions
Mix everything together, then marinate the coconut. Cook on a baking sheet at 375 for a very long time, stirring every 5 min until crisp.